that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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