How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
