I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
