Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I supernannyed him into submission
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
