Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
