hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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