If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
