So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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