my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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