I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
