I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
