Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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