an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
