If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
