I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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