Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room

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(915): View more from Texas

I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.

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(845): View more from New York

He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love

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(901): View more from Tennessee

as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way

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(716): View more from New York

Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't come back. They don't have pants.

(240): View more from Maryland

Oh god.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

God has nothing to do with this.

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