dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
