I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
