Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
