I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
