I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
