i barfeds in our rink
our cab driver is having phone sex.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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