You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And then my night got REAL pukey
Randomize
