is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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