Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Drunk is not a location!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
