You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
