you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
