i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
