Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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