Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
