Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Terrible idea I love it
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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