He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
