Are we in a gay sports bar?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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