He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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