i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
