I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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