one two three fourrrrnication!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
