i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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