how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
