i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
