I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
