i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
