Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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