Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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