YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
