u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
