I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
