I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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