The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
