Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
