i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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