In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
