I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
