i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
