Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
