Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
