Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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