i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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