I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
