If that was your dad, he is hot
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize