Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
