Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
