Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
